


Everything is Normal, Everything is Fine

by ThePrinceps



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Established Relationship, Gen, Jay Centric, Jay Lives AU, M/M, Not Ship focused, Post-Canon, sad to say this happened beacuse i remembered the my immortal false authorship claims again, they have a dog and she's great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePrinceps/pseuds/ThePrinceps
Summary: It's been years since Marble Hornets ended, Jay and Tim have moved on and gotten better, together. But Marble Hornets still happened and people still saw it, everyone thinks it's fake. How do you cope with that?
Relationships: Jay Merrick/Timothy "Tim" Wright | Masky
Kudos: 13





	Everything is Normal, Everything is Fine

Jay peels the tape off of his phone’s camera for the first time in months, there’s residue on the lens but it doesn’t matter. He scribbles the date onto a torn piece of paper, hands shaking as he holds it to the screen, and takes a photo. It’s blurry but you can still make out what’s important: it is today and he has access to the youtube channel. That’s all anyone needs to see. He stares at it, examining every pixel again and again for something that would give him away even slightly, no other open tabs, no desktop leaking through, no excess writing on the paper, nothing but chipped nail polish and sharpie on his hand. There isn't anything but the metadata he’ll clear off. The tape goes back over his phone’s camera, that was enough for several more months. He logs out of youtube, that was enough for several more years. 

His legs ache as gets up to pace across the living room, shaking out his hands, wracking his brain for what he could possibly be missing, for what could possibly come back to bite him about all of this. Debris decides to join him. Nothing comes to mind now, but Jay resolves to mull it over again later, and maybe again later still. He turns to stare back at his desk, his water glass is empty and for who knows how long. Who knows for how long he sat there staring at the Marble Hornets youtube on the verge of tears; memories and wounds resurfacing from their place packed neatly away beneath such fragile glass that no one has yet dared to break… That he will dare not to break. He breathes himself back to the moment in rough squares, grounded with the dog’s weight against his leg, and takes the glass to be refilled. Debris is content enough with this response and lays down again.

 _It would be easier if it was raining today,_ he thinks, _actual noise to focus on, drown out the fridge and heater._ Water’s refilled and it’s only 3:12, hours left before Tim gets home. _How much further can I work myself into anxiety before giving up again?_ He sits back at the desk, going over his plan. Photo taken, still needs to be edited. Statement mostly written, Tim’s agreed to give it fresh eyes once it’s done. Email not associated with any accounts or names has been made. Twitter is… not logged into until it’s time.

Finishing the photo is easy, all he has to do is send it through Discord, quickest way to get it to the computer too, two birds one small stone. But that is just the proof of it all, now he’s back to the behemoth, how to construct a compelling confession? How to reclaim something that hasn’t been yours in years? It’s all he’s been able to think about for days. He can do better all he likes, but he cannot _be_ better until what happened to him, what happened to all of them, is preserved properly. _No more fakes, just anything else, please…_ To let Marble Hornets die and rest, he opens the text document once again and picks apart everything he’s written.

-

_This is one of the people who worked on Marble Hornets and I still wish to remain anonymous; I’ve fallen out of touch with the others who worked on this, but they shared the same request then, and it really isn't my place to speak for them. I know that people in the past have tried to claim MH as their own work but have fallen short and I understand anonymity does not inspire confidence, but since this is posted on the MH twitter and the attached photo shows I still have access to the MH youtube account, I hope it is enough for you to believe me._

_I hadn’t come forward before this point and really never wanted to come forward because, to be completely honest, the memories I have of the time spent making MH suck. I avoid thinking about those years as much as I can, but I’m doing better and want to finally clean the wound of MH, as it were. This is for my own closure, nothing more._

_I was the person who played Jay and edited almost all of the content for the MH channel, as well as run this Twitter. It would be easy enough for me to just post a selfie and it’s as good as sealed but I don’t want to put my face onto the internet more than it already is. As for ToTheArk content, it was created separately. I didn’t have a hand it in or the codes out of an effort for authenticity in Jay’s reactions, theories, and response time. I’d see it when Jay saw it._

_MH was originally inspired by a series of nightmares I’d had around the time that were interesting enough to be broken down and restrung into a real story. With the help of the other people involved we were able to expand it into a full enough world to create MH. Funnily enough, most people threw in things from their own nightmares, we all got to dissect something of our own working on this._

_There was not a single aspect of Jay’s character that wasn’t filtered through what I was going through at the time: stress, anxiety, paranoia, insomnia, constant nightmares, physical illness, etc. and I mean, my apartment really did burn down. MH was beyond a story I was telling with friends, it was me trying to process what was happening in my life; MH has always been extremely personal._

_But MH stopped being my story, my friends’ story, as soon as it was put online and gained traction. It was something to see through for ourselves, we liked what we were making, but it spiraled into something we couldn’t hold, I’ve accepted that. Regarding the series’ by people who took inspiration, I haven’t watched any of them and I do not intend to see something so personal rehashed without context. But a story is malleable and inspiration is inspiration, congratulations on making something._

_I will not be responding to tweets here, as I want this account to remain as uncluttered as possible to preserve the ease of finding its content that pertains to the canon of MH. Instead reach out through [email] if you have questions and I’ll respond to what I can, no timetable though. You’re free to share whatever response you get wherever._

_That’s all I feel the need to say here. Thanks for reading, you can still just call me Jay or whatever._

-

He’s shaking when he finishes this latest revision. A quick save and close, it’s slightly harder to obsess over what you cannot see, and his hands drag down his face. Statement written, every piece he can do at the present moment is complete. _I have to get out of here, I can't just keep staring at this until Tim gets home. Debris probably wants a walk._

The big dog is still asleep on the sofa, taking in the afternoon sun. Jay pats his hand against her side and rests his head down in her fur, mumbling, “Walk time?”

Debris gets up before Jay has a moment to react, he falls into the sofa and she patiently sits by the door, tail wagging up a storm. “Thank you for forcing me to leave the house every day,” he says, grabbing a jacket and hooking on her leash.

-

He focuses on the warmth of the sun and making sure Debris doesn’t eat any leaves, an easy change of pace. Always calming to walk the same route, seeing normal people do normal things, remembering that life is happening and he is still here. He stops shaking a few minutes in. His thoughts take longer to cool, but they get there, and suddenly it’s past 5 and they’re almost back home. Like it was a normal day, not one spent analyzing every moment, like he won’t be right back to that once he steps over the threshold. But it was enough.

-

He winds up playing on the floor with Debris, waiting. The thoughts do creep back and start to race but she is a good distraction. What he’s able to mull over through her attacks is still sound. _It’s still the right choice._ And soon enough the door’s opening and Debris tramples Jay rushing to greet Tim as he leans his cane against the wall.

“Hey Tim,” Jay wheezes, getting up from the floor to grab plates from the kitchen. “How was work?”

“Mind-numbing, so really a good day. How was yours?” He’s cautious but genuine, unpacking the food from plastic bags.

“It sure went, got everything done though…” Jay sighs, and just looks at Tim. It’s clear how exhausted he is, though wired through nerves. 

“Hey,” Tim’s gaze gentle as he opens his arms and Jay steps into them, collapsing into the greatly needed hug. “All of that isn’t going to change everything, we’re still here. We have each other, okay?” 

His head nods into Tim’s shoulder as he mumbles, “I love you.”

“Love you too, Jay.” He gives one last squeeze before pulling away and leaving a gentle kiss on Jay’s cheek. “So, food huh?”

Jay’s able to laugh in the loosest sense of the word, “Yeah, probably should before it gets cold.” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to physically tidy his thoughts, and sits down to focus on the food, and Tim’s company, and Debris laying on his feet. In this moment he’s okay.

-

“So the plan is to tweet the statement and photo and then log out forever, right? I’m not going to let you check the email until tomorrow either way.” Tim prompts while drying a plate.

“Tweet and log out. Done for the night. I want to obsess over it as little as possible.”

“I’m proud of you, y’know. For even thinking about doing this, let alone going through with it.” Jay stops washing the dish he’s holding and just stares towards Tim. 

“I don’t know how much of a difference it’s gonna make in the long run though. It’s just telling more lies, even if they’re mine this time. That’s all any of it is anymore, lies and misinterpretation. At what point does that become the truth? At what point does it not matter that I’m saying anything because it’s not real to me? It's all just...” He shrugs and turns back to the sink.

“I don’t think anyone _can_ know. Even if it’s not real to everyone else it was still real to you, and to me, and to…“ Tim trails off, clearing his throat. “You won’t know until you try. If it wasn’t worth it, you just move on again. It’ll be hard, yeah, but it’s doable.”

“Thank you. You’re too rational.” Jay’s quiet but sincere as he hands the last dish over to Tim, nearly tripping over the dog as he tries to move from the sink. “Nothing left to procrastinate with, I’m going to, uh, yeah.”

“It’s going to be okay, Jay.” Tim places his hand on Jay’s arm for reassurance.

“I know but that doesn’t mean I _know…”_ He pauses with an exaggerated sigh before opening the statement back up and rereading it over Tim’s shoulder. He’s shaking again; his thoughts are swarming and muddy. _This is actually happening and it is fine._

“It reads well, covers all those points you’ve talked about, and I think it’s as close to the truth as anyone’s ever gonna get. Thank you for leaving me out of it, I know it was always your intent but it’s still… Thanks. So the photo?”

Jay opens it for him, “I don’t think there’s anything I’m missing in it but tired eyes see what they want.”

“Papers readable, screen’s readable, no ring on your hand. It’s clean. It’s good.”

“Yeah, I remembered to take it off,” Jay looks down at his hands, “but apparently didn’t remember to put it back _on_.” His eyes scan the desk for the small band and he places it over his finger again. “There, like it never happened.” Barely a chuff escapes him.

Tim’s smile radiates comfort, helping keep Jay in the moment as he opens Twitter, “Ready enough?”

“As I’ll ever be…” Jay logs in and copypastes the statement into twitlonger. _There is nothing inherently dangerous about doing this, it is fine, you are fine._ They both give it one last read-through, and then it’s out there. He tabs back to Twitter to reply with the photo and then it’s really done. 

The moments to take it back unnoticed dwindle and they’re both just sitting there. Tim logs out and shuts down the computer, a finality to tonight. Debris starts pawing at Jay’s leg, he’s still shaking. One hand sinks deep into her fur and the other sandwiched between his head and the desk. Tim follows suit and puts an arm around Jay.

They sit in silence for minutes, Jay’s stomach feels as if it’s in his throat. _If this really was a bad idea, Tim would have talked me out of it. This is fine. If the worst comes you still have him, we can make it through again._ Tim’s own hesitations recede long before Jay’s, but soon enough he can sigh and move on, weight lifted but still lingering.

-

The rest of the night is quiet and exceedingly normal. Cuddling on the couch with Debris and Tim while he plays Bloodborne on the TV, and as the darkness of night creeps in, the stars glued to their living room ceiling glow faintly. It’s almost enough for Jay to completely set aside what he’s just done, but it _is_ enough to keep him grounded, routine always does that. _This is normal,_ this _is fine._

It’s later than usual when they decide to head to bed, they both know anxiety will creep back, not just into Jay, but into Tim too, nonetheless ignoring sleep hasn’t been a valid option in years. 

-

“Remember your meds,” Jay prompts, after brushing his teeth.

“Don’t forget yours either.”

“I know, why do you _think_ I reminded you, Tim.” He’s able to laugh while reaching over Tim to open the medicine cabinet. It’s all normal.

-

They talk about nothing for a while in bed, winding down, routine. With a final kiss goodnight, they both lie awake, waiting, Tim favors staring at the ceiling and Jay the wall. They both logically know they’re safe, they’re alright, _they have each other_ , but it doesn’t make sleep arrive, yet another routine.

The shadows of their bedroom threaten to move and take shape, to cause harm, but they remain still. They’ll never move, their home will always be safe.

At some point, Debris leaves them for the floor and Tim finds his way to sleep, leaving Jay alone again. _It’s fine, there is nothing there_. He pressures himself into believing it, refusing to open his eyes in fear of being proven wrong, but the shadows of the room do continue to oblige, there is nothing there. Eventually, his heart stops racing, and eventually, he is able to fall asleep. He doesn’t even remember the latest nightmare in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Pour one out for the dog being named after Pol Martin, a joke that only 2 people would get, so instead, her name comes from my polycule's "wizsrd-names" channel.
> 
> I have vague ideas for a continuation of this but I'm bad at actually writing things down so I'm not making promises, and I'm more likely to go with a one-shot about the glow-in-the-dark stars if I can write more of them anyway. 
> 
> Also I'm @pranque on tumblr <3


End file.
